Wondering and Wandering – A Journey
One of my favorite quotes is “Not all who wander are lost.” It pretty much sums up my philosophy about life. I grew up in a religious tradition where all the answers seemed to be set in stone – no doubts allowed for life’s big questions. As long as I can remember, I strove to fit into those perimeters of “belief” but I always questioned everything and it caused me a tremendous amount of uncertainty and thoughts of “not being good enough.” Consequently, I became a seeker of spiritual truths since I was a teenager. This journey led me on some unusual paths, zigzagging through traditional and untraditional belief systems. Finally, at this point in my life, after gleaning what sounds true and right for me, I feel that all belief systems and great religions have at their center the essential truth, which is Love. Everything else is secondary – those things that divide us – people, religions, countries. If we all realized that we’re interconnected, that what happens to one of us or some of us or the people of another country, ultimately will affect all of us – this would be a different world.
My passion for travel seems to run parallel, somehow, with my spiritual journey; experiencing different cultures, meeting interesting people, hearing foreign languages, trying to understand and connect with strangers, who often become friends – this has helped me to see the big picture. By experiencing random acts of kindness and connectedness from strangers, by learning to communicate with people whose language I don’t know, by seeing how their lives, passions, and what they care about, are similar to mine – I’m reminded that every person carries a spark of something that is connected to me as well; call it God or Yahweh or Allah or a Higher Power – in essence they are different names for the same longing we all have in our hearts.
Ruth Miller, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Submission from Vanna Song
My name is Vanna Song (Smokie). I’ve had an affinity for nonhuman animals ever since I was young and initially wanted to pursue a career with them. I began to explore that option by volunteering at Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. I got a chance to learn about all the different animals there and got a chance to get up close and personal with a lot of them from Buckley the Beaver, to our clouded leopards. I also got to have access to the kitchen where food was prepped for the animals as well as the animal hospital which was made to accommodate every type of animal except for the elephants which had to have the hospital brought to them because of their size. There were many areas for me to explore from marine biology to veterinary technician and I had a good time and for a while, I felt working with animals was what I wanted to do. I eventually began thinking about something else which eventually landed me in the Human Services program here at the college. That something else was my own personal history and my country of Cambodia.
In 1975, a radical communist regime known as the Khmer Rouge established themselves as the ruling power of Cambodia. They were led by Pol Pot and a few other men and women who mostly are no longer alive. Their policies were agrarian-based and included abolishing the practice of any religion, any western influences, and of any intellects. The Khmer Rouge were one of the most brutal regimes of the twentieth century and according to the most recent data, about three million or so of my people died from execution, being overworked, famine, and disease such as malaria. They fell in 1979 alright, but they were not inactive. After they retreated in to the jungle, they touched off another thirteen years of civil war against the moderate communist government installed by the Vietnamese. The Khmer Rouge did not lay down their arms and disband until 1998.
Cambodia is now a third-world country and has not recovered much from that time. Landmines are still strewn about the countryside—occasionally maiming people and the government is corrupt. Some of its officials are former Khmer Rouge members such as current Prime Minister, Hun Sen. Currently, there are pretty much no mental health services to help Cambodians cope with the posttraumatic stress from events from 1975 to 1979 (currently, mental health services here in the United States are not designed to help that generation of Cambodians that have settled here in the United States because the United States has never endured anything like the Khmer Rouge regime). Most of the citizens of Cambodia are very poor and cannot afford to send their children to school. Clean water and medical care are virtually impossible to have access to. Human trafficking, drug addiction, and AIDS are prevalent. These are a few of the reasons why I decided to take a break from my animals and explore the Human Services program here at the college. I am the generation of Cambodians born in refugee camps along the Thai Cambodian border during the thirteen-year civil war that touched off after the Khmer Rouge fell in 1979 via invading Vietnamese troops. I would like to go back to Cambodia and help her become independent again like she was for twenty-two years before 1975 and her people get back on their feet and live a normal life like I got to do after I came here. A few things I’d like to do in Cambodia are bring Human Services to the country, give people opportunities for education, and promote using Cambodia’s natural resources to support the country and not rely so much on foreign aid. I can thank my returning to my grassroots of Cambodian music from the 1960s and early 70s, my staying up to date with current events in Cambodia, my acknowledging of that time in history now that I am older, and me not being American-born for steering me in this direction.
Amidst all of this, I have realized one thing: Just because you have liked something ever since you were little, doesn’t mean you want it for a career when you are older. People have loved beaches for a long time, but they end up living on them rather than work on them. Other people have loved animals for a long time too, but chose to pursue a career in computer science instead. I’m not abandoning my animals; it’s just the current state of my country, what she has endured, and my own personal history tugging at my heartstrings. Besides, there are animals in Cambodia I won’t find here such as Siamese crocodiles.
In 1975, a radical communist regime known as the Khmer Rouge established themselves as the ruling power of Cambodia. They were led by Pol Pot and a few other men and women who mostly are no longer alive. Their policies were agrarian-based and included abolishing the practice of any religion, any western influences, and of any intellects. The Khmer Rouge were one of the most brutal regimes of the twentieth century and according to the most recent data, about three million or so of my people died from execution, being overworked, famine, and disease such as malaria. They fell in 1979 alright, but they were not inactive. After they retreated in to the jungle, they touched off another thirteen years of civil war against the moderate communist government installed by the Vietnamese. The Khmer Rouge did not lay down their arms and disband until 1998.
Cambodia is now a third-world country and has not recovered much from that time. Landmines are still strewn about the countryside—occasionally maiming people and the government is corrupt. Some of its officials are former Khmer Rouge members such as current Prime Minister, Hun Sen. Currently, there are pretty much no mental health services to help Cambodians cope with the posttraumatic stress from events from 1975 to 1979 (currently, mental health services here in the United States are not designed to help that generation of Cambodians that have settled here in the United States because the United States has never endured anything like the Khmer Rouge regime). Most of the citizens of Cambodia are very poor and cannot afford to send their children to school. Clean water and medical care are virtually impossible to have access to. Human trafficking, drug addiction, and AIDS are prevalent. These are a few of the reasons why I decided to take a break from my animals and explore the Human Services program here at the college. I am the generation of Cambodians born in refugee camps along the Thai Cambodian border during the thirteen-year civil war that touched off after the Khmer Rouge fell in 1979 via invading Vietnamese troops. I would like to go back to Cambodia and help her become independent again like she was for twenty-two years before 1975 and her people get back on their feet and live a normal life like I got to do after I came here. A few things I’d like to do in Cambodia are bring Human Services to the country, give people opportunities for education, and promote using Cambodia’s natural resources to support the country and not rely so much on foreign aid. I can thank my returning to my grassroots of Cambodian music from the 1960s and early 70s, my staying up to date with current events in Cambodia, my acknowledging of that time in history now that I am older, and me not being American-born for steering me in this direction.
Amidst all of this, I have realized one thing: Just because you have liked something ever since you were little, doesn’t mean you want it for a career when you are older. People have loved beaches for a long time, but they end up living on them rather than work on them. Other people have loved animals for a long time too, but chose to pursue a career in computer science instead. I’m not abandoning my animals; it’s just the current state of my country, what she has endured, and my own personal history tugging at my heartstrings. Besides, there are animals in Cambodia I won’t find here such as Siamese crocodiles.
Stay Here--Remember Me by Lynn Romaine
STAY HERE- REMEMBER ME
A Poem for Emily
Stay Here
I looked and could not see you,
Slowly fading into the mist of days.
But to the end we fought to keep you here,
And make you stay.
You lent us your gentle spirit,
But I felt your need to break away.
In the end, your spirit knew best
How to soar free, not to stay.
Remember Me
For your love of things struggling in the world,
We remember you.
For your light step and lighter laughter,
We remember you.
For what we can make of our lives from yours,
We remember you.
God speed, Emily
Fly free and
Watch over us all
Lynn Romaine
A Poem for Emily
Stay Here
I looked and could not see you,
Slowly fading into the mist of days.
But to the end we fought to keep you here,
And make you stay.
You lent us your gentle spirit,
But I felt your need to break away.
In the end, your spirit knew best
How to soar free, not to stay.
Remember Me
For your love of things struggling in the world,
We remember you.
For your light step and lighter laughter,
We remember you.
For what we can make of our lives from yours,
We remember you.
God speed, Emily
Fly free and
Watch over us all
Lynn Romaine
The Sculptor by Randy and Trena Reed
The Sculptor
by Randy & Trena Reed
The Sculptor’s hands never tire.
God’s relentless love carves away my sin.
His mercy polishes my tarnished character.
His unyielding grace sculpts my sin-stained soul.
God chisels with perfect precision.
My blackened shards rain down.
Broken fragments litter the ocean floor.
God’s image is restored in me.
My forgotten beauty unfolds.
Infinite love emerges.
Joy appears.
A besieged world surrenders its captive.
by Randy & Trena Reed
The Sculptor’s hands never tire.
God’s relentless love carves away my sin.
His mercy polishes my tarnished character.
His unyielding grace sculpts my sin-stained soul.
God chisels with perfect precision.
My blackened shards rain down.
Broken fragments litter the ocean floor.
God’s image is restored in me.
My forgotten beauty unfolds.
Infinite love emerges.
Joy appears.
A besieged world surrenders its captive.
The Price He Paid by Randy R. Reed
The Price He Paid
He surrendered His powerful position
as Ruler of the entire universe
to come down to our tiny world
to save the people of this earth.
He was born a helpless baby
in a dirty barn late one night.
He gave up everything He had
just to show sinners the light.
He grew up among strangers
in a foreign and unforgiving land.
His stepbrothers misunderstood Him—
even His parents didn’t understand.
Then late one fateful evening,
evil men came to the garden and took Him away.
They beat Him, kicked Him, and whipped Him
all through the night and into the next day.
They spit in His face and cursed His name,
they pressed thorns deep into His head.
He could have called down ten thousand angels,
but He just stood there quietly and bled.
They continued this inhumane torture
until His flesh was shredded and torn.
They teased, mocked, and laughed at Him—
He was the object of their ridicule and scorn.
They tried and convicted Him unfairly,
they even forced Him to carry His own cross.
He staggered up the hill under its weight
until He collapsed from enormous blood loss.
Finally, they drove nails through His hands and feet
and took that awful cross and dropped it into a hole.
He hung there, suffering alone, the rest of that day
and just before sunset, He died on the lonely knoll.
Our Lord subjected Himself to all this pain and agony,
not because it was His duty to save us from sin,
but because of His extraordinary love for us
and because He wants us to live forever with Him.
Randy R. Reed
He surrendered His powerful position
as Ruler of the entire universe
to come down to our tiny world
to save the people of this earth.
He was born a helpless baby
in a dirty barn late one night.
He gave up everything He had
just to show sinners the light.
He grew up among strangers
in a foreign and unforgiving land.
His stepbrothers misunderstood Him—
even His parents didn’t understand.
Then late one fateful evening,
evil men came to the garden and took Him away.
They beat Him, kicked Him, and whipped Him
all through the night and into the next day.
They spit in His face and cursed His name,
they pressed thorns deep into His head.
He could have called down ten thousand angels,
but He just stood there quietly and bled.
They continued this inhumane torture
until His flesh was shredded and torn.
They teased, mocked, and laughed at Him—
He was the object of their ridicule and scorn.
They tried and convicted Him unfairly,
they even forced Him to carry His own cross.
He staggered up the hill under its weight
until He collapsed from enormous blood loss.
Finally, they drove nails through His hands and feet
and took that awful cross and dropped it into a hole.
He hung there, suffering alone, the rest of that day
and just before sunset, He died on the lonely knoll.
Our Lord subjected Himself to all this pain and agony,
not because it was His duty to save us from sin,
but because of His extraordinary love for us
and because He wants us to live forever with Him.
Randy R. Reed
In Our Search for Hope by Tom Bratcher and Ynes Liliana Cayllahua Diaz
In our search for hope
In our search for hope, everything was so fast that even I cannot explain, my husband; a strong and healthy man had just been diagnosed with leukemia
It was hard at first to accept that this was happening
I’d just look up to heaven and I asked for strength so I can be a good support for my husband
Our endless nights online searching about this disease was whipping my heart
God I said, I never ask thee why?
I never say to you why us? We just accept it and understand your designs as we know you'll always be there to support us in this journey
In our search we found that people can be insensitive with the pain of others
for some doctors and nurses we are another case…a patient on the list
Our plea for hope came when we contacted the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA)
from the first contact with the representative of this hospital, we knew that there was light, the way to healing. since they all treated us with great cordiality and they were very concerned about my husband Tom and me
we were not just another case…a patient…we were Tom and Ynes.. seeking answers and hope
This hospital was a great encouragement to us, They knew that there was hope.
Let us together holding hands and with God guiding my husband we can win this battle
And I know everything will be okay…I know.
Thank God for leading us to CTCA
en nuestra busqueda de esperanza
todo fue tan rapido que aun no me lo puedo explicar mi esposo un hombre sano y fuerte acababa de ser diagnosticado con leucemia
fue duro en un primer momento aceptar que esto estaba sucediendo
solo mire al cielo y pedi fuerzas para ser un buen apoyo y sopor para mi esposo
nuestra busqueda de interminables noches online acerca de esta enfermedad fue latigando mi corazon
senor yo dije
yo jamas te preguntare por que?
yo jamas te dire por que a nosotros
solo lo aceptaremos y comprenderemos tu designios ya que sabemos que tu siempre estaras ahi para apoyarnos en esta travesia
en nuestra busqueda encontramos que la gente se insensibiliza
con el dolor ajeno para algunos medicos y enfermeras son un caso mas un paciente mas de la lista
nuestra suplica para la esperanza llego cuando contactamos con CTCA
desde el primer dialogo con el representante de este hospital, nosotros sabiamos que ahi estaba la luz el camino para la cura
desde que llegamos todos nos trataron con mucha cordialidad muy preocupados por mi esposo tom y por mi no solo eramos un caso mas un paciente mas eramos tom y ynes personas que buscaban respuestas y esperanzas
este hospital fue un gran aliciente para nosotros, sabiamos que habia esperanza.
Que nosotros juntos y agarrados de la mano de dios y con su guia mi esposo podria vencer esta batalla y yo se que todo saldra bien yo lo se
gracias dios por guiarnos a CTCA.
In our search for hope, everything was so fast that even I cannot explain, my husband; a strong and healthy man had just been diagnosed with leukemia
It was hard at first to accept that this was happening
I’d just look up to heaven and I asked for strength so I can be a good support for my husband
Our endless nights online searching about this disease was whipping my heart
God I said, I never ask thee why?
I never say to you why us? We just accept it and understand your designs as we know you'll always be there to support us in this journey
In our search we found that people can be insensitive with the pain of others
for some doctors and nurses we are another case…a patient on the list
Our plea for hope came when we contacted the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA)
from the first contact with the representative of this hospital, we knew that there was light, the way to healing. since they all treated us with great cordiality and they were very concerned about my husband Tom and me
we were not just another case…a patient…we were Tom and Ynes.. seeking answers and hope
This hospital was a great encouragement to us, They knew that there was hope.
Let us together holding hands and with God guiding my husband we can win this battle
And I know everything will be okay…I know.
Thank God for leading us to CTCA
en nuestra busqueda de esperanza
todo fue tan rapido que aun no me lo puedo explicar mi esposo un hombre sano y fuerte acababa de ser diagnosticado con leucemia
fue duro en un primer momento aceptar que esto estaba sucediendo
solo mire al cielo y pedi fuerzas para ser un buen apoyo y sopor para mi esposo
nuestra busqueda de interminables noches online acerca de esta enfermedad fue latigando mi corazon
senor yo dije
yo jamas te preguntare por que?
yo jamas te dire por que a nosotros
solo lo aceptaremos y comprenderemos tu designios ya que sabemos que tu siempre estaras ahi para apoyarnos en esta travesia
en nuestra busqueda encontramos que la gente se insensibiliza
con el dolor ajeno para algunos medicos y enfermeras son un caso mas un paciente mas de la lista
nuestra suplica para la esperanza llego cuando contactamos con CTCA
desde el primer dialogo con el representante de este hospital, nosotros sabiamos que ahi estaba la luz el camino para la cura
desde que llegamos todos nos trataron con mucha cordialidad muy preocupados por mi esposo tom y por mi no solo eramos un caso mas un paciente mas eramos tom y ynes personas que buscaban respuestas y esperanzas
este hospital fue un gran aliciente para nosotros, sabiamos que habia esperanza.
Que nosotros juntos y agarrados de la mano de dios y con su guia mi esposo podria vencer esta batalla y yo se que todo saldra bien yo lo se
gracias dios por guiarnos a CTCA.
We Are Our Words by Sarah A.
It was after I had arrived at the lowest point in my life when I made a conscious commitment to redirect my energies toward something better. I know it was my own personal “rock bottom” because everything in my life now seems to have either led up to or stemmed from it. By that time, my mistakes were quickly outnumbering my good decisions, and sufficient emotional scars had been tattooed on my heart as a result (not to mention the harm I had caused others). I was reeling from the very weight of my conscience, which had usually been a strong enough force to keep me reeled in. The previous two years, though, had completely undone that reel. My values had gone from being extremely conservative to shameful and reckless. When I was ready to quit, I felt I faced only two options. I could either do just that, quit. Or I could make a new start. I chose the latter. My commitment to myself sounded something like this:
“I just want to be able to live with myself at the end of each day.”
To me, this meant that I would not be deceitful. I would not participate in things that I would be ashamed of should the light of day reveal them. Even if the chances of that happening were slim to none. I would own up to whatever mistakes I made along the way, and not let things “pile up.” And I would make efforts to continue to better myself. At that point, I didn't care if I ever made a significant mark on the world. I wasn't aspiring to reach the summit of the highest peak (literally or figuratively). The simplicity behind the commitment was to be one of the more effective promises I would ever make to myself. It's been over eight years since I made that promise, and it is what I come back to time and again when faced with important decisions.
Moving onto the thoughts that the title of this book elicits, I believe that while we are our words, most certainly, our actions are equally important. My husband communicated that very truth to me once, and it has stuck with me ever since. He had no use for the words I might use, but instead preferred to see actions to support those very words. He was right, I determined. So I dug in my heels and started to do what I said I would. Of course, I don't always get the “do” part right, and sometimes I'm too lazy to do more than use my words, but the message echoes in my head whenever there is friction in my life over what is said versus what is done. Quite often I can even skip the words and move straight to the actions.
So while our actions are important, I cannot ignore the weight of our words either. The impact of my words seems to vary depending on the recipient(s). For someone who doesn't know me, my words are probably taken at face value. Nothing more, nothing less. I believe this because they have nothing on which to base any alterations to that face value. Face value, of course, is subjective. Certainly our own views flavor the impressions we take from someone's words. However, if my views are of value to a person (most often the case if they know me), possibly my words would be capable of leaving a more lasting impression on them, for help or for harm.
Summarily, the words I choose to live by (such as my commitments to myself), affect the actions that I take in my life (that may be written of by another), which, when paired with the words I choose to use (speaking or writing), directly affect the future of the world as we know it. So I would suggest that we all choose our words wisely.
Sarah A.
“I just want to be able to live with myself at the end of each day.”
To me, this meant that I would not be deceitful. I would not participate in things that I would be ashamed of should the light of day reveal them. Even if the chances of that happening were slim to none. I would own up to whatever mistakes I made along the way, and not let things “pile up.” And I would make efforts to continue to better myself. At that point, I didn't care if I ever made a significant mark on the world. I wasn't aspiring to reach the summit of the highest peak (literally or figuratively). The simplicity behind the commitment was to be one of the more effective promises I would ever make to myself. It's been over eight years since I made that promise, and it is what I come back to time and again when faced with important decisions.
Moving onto the thoughts that the title of this book elicits, I believe that while we are our words, most certainly, our actions are equally important. My husband communicated that very truth to me once, and it has stuck with me ever since. He had no use for the words I might use, but instead preferred to see actions to support those very words. He was right, I determined. So I dug in my heels and started to do what I said I would. Of course, I don't always get the “do” part right, and sometimes I'm too lazy to do more than use my words, but the message echoes in my head whenever there is friction in my life over what is said versus what is done. Quite often I can even skip the words and move straight to the actions.
So while our actions are important, I cannot ignore the weight of our words either. The impact of my words seems to vary depending on the recipient(s). For someone who doesn't know me, my words are probably taken at face value. Nothing more, nothing less. I believe this because they have nothing on which to base any alterations to that face value. Face value, of course, is subjective. Certainly our own views flavor the impressions we take from someone's words. However, if my views are of value to a person (most often the case if they know me), possibly my words would be capable of leaving a more lasting impression on them, for help or for harm.
Summarily, the words I choose to live by (such as my commitments to myself), affect the actions that I take in my life (that may be written of by another), which, when paired with the words I choose to use (speaking or writing), directly affect the future of the world as we know it. So I would suggest that we all choose our words wisely.
Sarah A.
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